i feel so free ...

... not a "ahhh~ i have that burden off my back" kind-of free, but a "so uplifted that i'm soaring" kind-of free. this past weekend at the jca fall retreat was amazingly beautiful. beautiful worship, beautiful messages, beautiful people, beautiful testimonies, and beautiful fellowship. time flew by way too quickly, but just the experience as a whole refreshed my mind, body, and soul. i didn't realize that there are so many burdens and memories that tie me down. during the retreat, flashbacks from my past just kept hitting me: things, events, and people that i had chosen to push out of my mind. but the speaker, pastor ulysses, said something that i'll never forget, "no matter how big the sin or the pain, God's grace is bigger. it covers everything. nothing else matters." at that moment, the realization of God's love and mercy just poured into me. it cleansed all the dirt away: the pain, hurt, and regrets. i really felt a lot of spiritual healing at this retreat. i felt a lot of love when people prayed for me. it's always been really hard for me to open up to people. but for the first time ever, i shared my full testimony with a fellow sister. God has really been pushing me to tell people my testimony. i feel that He is telling me that He will use me that way, and that is something i have always prayed for: to be used by God. i hope to share with more people, and i pray that they will be blessed by my story. i am still in awe of how God is working in me. mm yes, thank you thank you thank you God. here i am stand, arms open wide.