it is so easy to lose my footing and float off into depression, distraction, depersonalization. i believe that there is the physical world. within this physicality is two different soul/spiritual/emotional worlds. one of forgetfulness, one of real feelings, genuineness, good intentions, purposefulness, real happiness. i'm in the former often. i forget my past, what it took to get here, my friends and family. i'm just so sad. i can only transport over to the latter when i am at a good place in my life. i don't find myself there often these days.
i'm sorry i didn't realize sooner. i'm sorry that i'm so selfish.
i don't even deserve everything i have now. i just want to be happy.
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